6 Relationship Survival Tips for Handling the Pandemic— Together

6 Relationship Survival Tips for Handling the Pandemic— Together

By Aid

None of this is intended to be legal, medical, or psychiatric advice. 

Due to the Covid Pandemic, cohabitating couples are being forced to spend more time inside their homes in close proximity together and break-ups are, naturally, on the rise! Why do I say “naturally”? Because what else would you expect when you take individuals who are used to having some social life, some privacy, and some alone time for themselves, and then you deny them all of that at the same time? It feels like a twisted social experiment. It feels like we are all characters in the Sims, and whoever is playing the game has deleted the front door to our house. Spending too much time together can be dangerous for a relationship and can lead to all kinds of unwanted results, such as decreased attraction to each other, resentment, more arguments and fights, and boredom with the relationship, as well as other issues. What can people do to support the health of their relationship under these circumstances, when spending more time together feels like that will just make the problem worse? Strap in, take a deep breath, and let’s look at some relationship survival tips:

1) Maintain privacy: I got this tip from my brother, and I have to steal it to include on this list, because it is so damn true. With so much time being spent around each other, it is easy to slide into lazy habits that erase the boundaries between people. Getting changed with the door open, working in the same space, cutting your toenails in front of your partner, burping or passing gas near them, talking to your partner while they are in the middle of an activity instead of waiting for when they are finished. These boundaries serve to keep people separate, and consensually pushing boundaries can be a great way to learn about ourselves in a relationship, but those boundaries also exist to protect certain things that make the relationship valuable. Maintaining privacy takes effort, but think about how much effort you put into the relationship when it first started. Are you still putting in the same effort, or less? Putting in the extra effort and giving your partner their privacy and space will give them much needed time to relax and decompress away from you, but it will also give them the chance to start missing you. This goes for you as well. If you don’t eat for a while, what do you get? HUNGRY! You will want your partner more (mentally and physically) if you allow them time and space away from you. 

2) Switch roles: Does your partner always take care of one or more chores, and you always take care of others? Time to SWITCH! This can remind you of important contributions that your partner makes to the relationship, and leave you with a renewed sense of appreciation towards your partner. Alternatively, if disputes over the roles you play keep coming up, that might be a sign that those responsibilities are not evenly distributed between you and your partner, and it is time to re-evaluate how much both of your are doing. Lack of appreciation is poison to a relationship, and it is easy to fall into if we don’t take the time to remind ourselves how much our partners mean to us.

3) Date Nights: If you are stuck inside doing the same thing every day and every night, routines will turn into curses. You both need to take time to do something special or different at least once a week. An indoor date night is a great way to change things up, complete with a special dinner, and watching a new movie or playing a game together. Put in the effort too. Dress up, get your partner’s favorite food, tidy the place up like you are inviting your partner over for the first time, flowers, chocolates, the works! Not only will this help break up the monotony of any routines, it is also a great opportunity to show your partner how much you appreciate and care for them. A little bit of appreciation goes a long way. 

4) Start a project together: Relationships are all about shared goals. Working on something creative together is a great way to do something fun, while practicing the team work that helps support a healthy relationship. Maybe write a story with your partner, make a photo album together, rearrange or redecorate your home. Whatever you both are interested in. This will also give you an opportunity to surprise each other with your creativity and explore your passions together. Something you must remember though is to remain open to your partner’s suggestions. The idea is to work together and that means being able to lead sometimes and let your partner lead at other times. The end product of the project is not at important as the activity of working well together.  

5) Get off of your screens: If you and your partner are always staring at a screen, whether it is the tv, laptop, phone, tablet, or some combination of those, you need to put that crap down sometimes. Now, it is understandable if you, or your partner, are relying on your devices to maintain a social life. With bars, cinemas, and many other public venues closed, on-line is one of the few places that people can catch up. However, you must make the effort to reserve some time just for you and your partner. Staying on your playstation, or texting on your phone all the time is the new version of going out with your friends, and leaving your partner at home. You can even turn it into a couple’s challenge. One hour a day away from your screens, and then the first one to touch their device loses. 

6) Try virtual counseling: If you and your partner are consistently unhappy with each other, and the same problems just seem to keep coming up, there are professionals you can talk to, and you can even do it over the internet. Just because you seek out counseling for your relationship does not mean the relationship is doomed, and plenty of couples have strengthened their relationships with the help of a counselor, or therapist. You probably already know my point of view on this: Even if you are in a totally happy and healthy relationship, you should still try a couple’s therapy session anyway (especially if you have easy access to counseling) just to see what it is like and maybe learn some helpful tools for supporting your relationship and resolving possible conflicts. 

It pays to be proactive in relationships. Putting in the effort, showing appreciation whenever possible, and reminding yourself why you are in the relationship are all necessary and must be done on a consistent basis. At the end of the day, if you and your partner can do those things for each other, that makes you a stronger team and you will be able to face challenges like a pandemic, together.