The Key to Endless Confidence and Wellness

The Key to Endless Confidence and Wellness

By Aid

    None of this is intended to be legal, medical, or psychiatric advice.

    Times are stressful! And stress during a pandemic only makes things worse. We are all struggling to cope with new challenges and circumstances, and it is enough to overwhelm almost anybody. I say “almost anybody,” because there are some people who handle the uncertainty of life, and the challenges that come with it, better than others. These individuals seem to have an inexhaustible amount of confidence and maintain an unshakable level of wellness. Everyone knows someone like this, it’s the person that you most want next to you if there is an emergency or disaster. The trait that makes them like this is called mental resilience. It’s almost like a super power, but you don’t need to be exposed to radiation or be born on Krypton to develop it. Here are 7 tips for building mental resilience:

1) Do not waste time worrying about things that are out of your control: People spend a great deal of time and energy worrying about things that are out of their control, and stress mitigation is crucial to staying mentally resilient. This means stopping occasionally, and taking inventory of the things that are causing you stress. Write them down on a list if that helps. Then, break them down into things that you can do something about, and things that you really don’t control. You will find that those things you cannot change are things you can at least prepare for. For example, if your boss is a jackass who takes all of his problems out on his employees, you aren’t going to be able to dictate how your boss acts, but you can come up with a game plan involving talking to HR the next time he crosses the line. 

2) Be goal oriented: Figure out what you want to accomplish, make a step by step plan consisting of measurable and achievable goals, and focus on those immediate goals instead of the larger thing you are trying to accomplish. A mentally resilient person stranded on a desert island does not think: how will I ever survive this and get off this island? They focus on finding materials to build a shelter, finding a water source, and building a fire to attract attention. If you are trying to pursue your dream job, trying to lose weight, trying to earn a degree (whatever your aim is), focus on the steps you need to take to make that happen, and work on it every day. 

3) Embrace the 5 Minute Rule: If you have a task or chore that will only take 5 minutes to complete, don’t leave it for later. Do it right now. Procrastination interferes with reaching goals, and mentally resilient people are PROACTIVE. Would you want someone who procrastinates next to you in an emergency?

4) Be Batman: The next time you are faced with a choice, or need to accomplish something, don’t ask: What should I do? Imagine the mentally strong and resilient version of yourself. Give that version of yourself a superhero name. You can come up with your own, or you can borrow some other famous alter-ego. Let’s use Batman as an example. Next, you should ask yourself: What would Batman do? Then, imagine yourself as Batman, and go about completing the task. I kid you not: you will display more mental focus and resilience, and possibly other positive traits you associate with that alter-ego, in completing the task. This is due to something called “The Batman Effect” and it’s the real deal. 

5) Stay Healthy: I’ve made this point before, and it’s nothing you don’t know, but staying physically healthy makes it easier to stay mentally healthy. Avoid bad habits like sitting on your butt all day, drinking and smoking too much, and doing other recreational stuff that you know is not good for you. Sufficient sleep, healthy diet and regular exercise keep your immune system strong, and help you avoid fatigue. Moreover, exercise stimulates the release of endorphins (your body’s natural pain killer and “feel good” drug), dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin, and these chemicals play a crucial role in regulating your mood. A friend of mine once put it this way: “Your brain is swimming around in a soup, and you have to keep it tasty.” 

6) Confide in others: Opening up about how you are feeling, your thoughts, fears, and concerns, can feel like a weight off of your shoulders, but it also helps to have others who can provide different perspectives on issues. Maybe there is an important question or detail that has been sitting right in front of you this whole time, but you have been missing it. Others can help keep you grounded, and sharing your experiences with them can strengthen bonds, and also help you to stop focusing on issues in an unhealthy way. Similarly, you can learn a lot by providing emotional support to others when they are dealing with challenges. It can be heroic to take on great challenges by yourself, but a team of heroes can accomplish a lot more. 

7) Letting go: The negative feelings we have, whether it is a grudge or severe dislike of someone else, a feeling of having been wronged, a desire for retribution, jealousy, anger, blame. They are all massive sources of stress that can have a profound influence on your actions, and (for exactly that reason) can even come to define you. When you carry these kinds of feelings with you, you carry them with you all day, every day, and even while you sleep, they pop up in your dreams. You are like a closed fist, and when you really let one of these feelings go, it is like releasing your tight grip. Now, letting go of such negative emotions is far easier said than done, but it is possible, and with time and effort, you can spare yourself a lot of pain and free yourself. The thing you must try to remember is that the world is chaos. Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people, and there is no justification for any of it. It is up to us to make sense of the chaos by not letting the nastiness of the world around us dictate who we are, or what we do. Through our actions and choices, we can be the source of security and stability for ourselves, and each other, and that does not come down to luck or chance. That is a mentally resilient mindset.